Seppuku - 2010/04/08

I toppled head over heels into the deepest hole,
My reach exceeded my ability to grasp the goal.
It was a final stretch I was hoping would provide,
A bridge over the growing gap I could not abide.
With one slip I tumbled; wind whistling in my ears,
Unconcerned that the bottom is graced by my fears.
Rather I looked up; imagining if I hadn't missed,
Ignoring the fact it was all destined to go amiss.
Some might say fuck it, but I'm starting to enjoy,
As terminal velocity is better than being a toy.
Side by side monuments to my success are abound,
Laughing manically; such a damn refreshing sound.
Though below me there is only pitch black to see,
Ignoring shades of others I did not want to be.

The deeper I tumble the less I seem to still rue,
The idea that I would likely be eaten by a grue.
Wondering I imagine what tragedy lies at the end,
What horrors are waiting for me around the bend?
I envision nasty wicked blades designed to slice,
Or Russian Roulette albeit with fully loaded dice.
Maybe a classic; an Iron Maiden that will pierce,
Perhaps a slow finale that will hurt real fierce?
Though maybe something more fitting is in store,
But a failure getting run through is such a bore.

Whatever end may be in store; I can feel peace,
As I no longer care enough to try and overreach.
So that when the time comes and I exit this hole,
I will just turn my back on this impossible goal.
Is it worth having if only as a means to an end,
Inviting the horror lurking beyond the next bend?
So rather than flap my arms and attempt to fly,
As a leaf on the wind I will just enjoy the ride.

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