Baron Buffoon - 2011/01/14

Our Captain gallops in on a white steed
His rapier elevated for admirers to see
Today he donned his grand dress uniform
Reminiscent of a nobleman French marquis
Behold his gallantry and God given grace
As he carries himself with ancient pride
His aura illuminates the lowest of fools
No known evil stands against that stride

I will not get in line for his autograph
Like another celebrity worshiping robot
Look at him mug as the camera eats it up
I have seen that fool slurp his own snot
Sadly he has never had to walk the plank
He cannot swim but would drown with class
Ill plunder that smirk adorning his face
By making my way aft and beating his ass

The women always come from miles around
Some say it is all just to see his eyes
According to his wife she does not care
As he prefers cabin boys in thigh highs
Did you know just how he got a nose ring
He was talking shit going for first base
After inhaling a few too many Appletinis
While using a rapier to scratch his face

So come see this master of the high seas
Damn jackass cannot even read a real map
Without GPS he gets lost in his backyard
Just beware of that legendary bitch slap
When he trots on by feel free to snicker
If you need a bit more to outright laugh
Just envision him with his rubber duckie
Wearing his floaties and taking his bath

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