2011/02/22

Smooth Jimmy - 2011/02/22

People love a good old boy named James
Especially those southern Georgia dames
I think perhaps your wife loves me too
Perhaps that is what really scares you

I once knew a criminal named Tricky Dick
His illegal antics made the country sick
Despite the fact he did promptly resign
People still love him just ask Ben Stein

Aaron Burr was a stupid and dangerous man
After murdering a founding father he ran
Before meeting the end of his crappy life
He went flat broke and lost a final wife

While its certainly true that I write books
You sadly seem to assume authors are crooks
Just dont pretend that the cream of the crop
Is Dubya giving speeches for 250 bucks a pop

You poor man Jesus did not have time to write
Walking across the land making things alright
With a wave of his hand troubles would go away
Even your sad jealously will be reborn one day

The three presidents you speak of make me smile
One was a slickster getting hummers all the while
The second was a meglomaniac who nuked two cities
While I gave great speeches without my committees

I appreciate your well wishes for my final years
If I believed you I suppose I would be in tears
And while like me Favre might not want to retire
I promise not to send dirty pics out on the wire

Oh it looks like I owe you this small postscript
Regarding Mother Teresa now very dead in a crypt
She was an advocate against rubbers and abortion
Perhaps your praise should be better apportioned

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