American Rube - 2011/04/19

Beau was a slow fellow
He came from that town
Where business was bad
And people were down
His parents were hicks
Of the most cliché sort
Who thought cow tipping
Was a professional sport

Against the tough odds
He finally got a shot
Neighbors were elated
Screaming Great Scott
He waited on his turn
Stood in heat all day
When he got on stage
He sung it all his way

Three judges were agape
All words simply failed
One got violently sick
And another just bailed
The last just lingered
Staring down poor Beau
Before flatly stating
You really suck so go

Without a single word
Excepting a small tear
Beau went to his family
Cause they did not hear
When he spread the news
They were quite pissed
And wanted to find out
What the judges missed

So they stormed inside
Ready to kick some ass
They were really drunk
And stoned on the grass
Security was prepared
To escort them all out
After the douche host
Asked what it was about

A mother with a mullet
Stepped forth to answer
Crying about how Beau
Was her singing dancer
A father with his beer
Claimed to be relieved
As Beau cannot be queer
If judges are believed

His brother just quipped
This means I am the best
Cause I shoot squirrels
In a camo hunting vest
One final member spoke
The lone adopted sister
I apologize for all of
The white trash mister

They think Beau sings
Like a million bucks
But they love country
So their taste sucks
If Beau sings outside
All the nearby strays
Seek shelter and hide
Yet my parents praise

So Beau has no talent
He will just pump gas
Never saving a penny
Living on his fat ass
Check out our family
Take in this our fate
This is what we get
When we dont educate

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